The Best Leadership Work Is Off The Agenda
We cleared 2 of 10 agenda items, and the commitments that mattered were never on the list. What a laptop-free offsite, a bottoms-up plan, and a real goodbye taught me this week.
Save this. 3 things from my week as a European GTM operator, turned into moves you can run today on your leg of scale, with my own take from the trenches.
Send it to 1 founder or GTM operator scaling toward 10M in Europe who reads everything and ships none of it.
The 90-second version
The best conversation of the offsite was the one I did not plan. We got through 2 of 10 agenda items and committed to run a laptop-free, leader-hosted offsite every quarter.
I asked my leaders how they saw themselves next year, watched the room get defensive, and answered with a bottoms-up plan instead of a mandate.
The two most honest conversations of my week were the goodbyes. I treat every exit as a real thank-you, not a formality.
The European read: when your leaders are spread across 4 fragmented markets, the in-person day with the laptops closed is where cross-market trust actually compounds. A dashboard review cannot do it.
The thread: the leadership work that moves the number is the work that is off the agenda.
Read time: ~7 min.
The set-up
I spent 2 days with my leadership team with the laptops closed. No dashboards, no slide walk-through, no data review. Then I closed the week with 2 final one-on-ones, both with people leaving the team, right before I go on leave myself. One word ran through all of it: presence.
Here is what I took from it, and what you can steal…
Hi, it is Koen Stam and welcome to GTMcraft OS: The Future GTM Operator. This newsletter is built from 100,000+ GTM signals collected from 100+ operators and founders, combined with 13+ years of my own lessons and failures from the trenches. I write at the intersection of go-to-market practice and AI-powered systems for founders and GTM operators scaling their next 2M, 5M or 10M ARR.
100,000+ GTM relevant signals from LinkedIn, Newsletters and Podcasts indexed. Translated into 100+ GTM plays, skills and training for you to implement today.
13+ years over 3 GTM operator jobs across 3 GTM motions (SMB, MM, ENT). Scaling from 2-10M+ ARR multiple times. Same recipe. Different motions.
Now all part of the GTMcraft Operator System.
Lesson 1: The best conversation was the one I did not plan
I built a 10-question agenda for a 2-day leadership offsite. A clean 5-part review of the first half: results, strategy, the team, how we led, how we work. We got through 2 questions. Then the room moved on its own into the honest version: what the first half actually cost each leader, and what they want from next year. We finished early. Out of that unscripted stretch came 2 commitments that were never on my agenda: build next year’s plan bottoms-up, together, and meet in person for 2 days every quarter, laptops closed, rotating through each leader’s home base. It is a deliberate rejection of the standard business review, where you sit in an office and read data to plan ahead.
My take: The QBR format is built to review the past. It is not built to produce commitment to the future. I gave up the tidy walk-through of the numbers, on purpose, and got something the numbers never give me: leaders saying out loud what they actually want next year. That is the trade I would make every quarter. The data does not need my whole team in a room. The commitment does.
The European read: When your leaders sit in different countries and sell one motion into fragmented, multi-language markets, the in-person day with the laptops down is the only place cross-market trust compounds. A shared dashboard does not build it. A canal walk with no laptop does.
Do first: Look at your next leadership review. Cut the agenda in half. Protect the second day for one question with no slide behind it: what did this half actually cost you, and what do you want from next year.
Do this week: Book one 2-day, laptop-free session with your leaders this quarter. Pick a location that is not an office.
Do this month: Rotate the host. Let one leader own the next one end to end. Ownership of the room is ownership of the team.
The rule: If the meeting could have been a dashboard, it should have been. Use the room for the conversation the dashboard cannot have.
You know it worked when: Your leaders raise the hard topic before you do, and a commitment comes out of the room that was not on your agenda.
The play: 5 steps to reset the quarter with your leaders and 3 owned initiatives (2026 series). Turns a leadership offsite into 3 owned initiatives instead of a data review nobody acts on. Get full access below ↓
Lesson 2: I asked how they saw next year, and watched the room get defensive
I put an offensive plan for next year in front of my leaders. I could feel the defense in the room straight away. Yes, we want to grow. But we also know where we are and what is realistic. That tension is the real job of leading a team of managers: getting them to a place where an ambitious number feels realistic to them, not just to me. Underneath my question was a second one I did not say out loud: do you see a future for yourself here next year. Instead of pushing a top-down number, I told them the defense was fine, and that I want to see their real ambition in a plan they build bottoms-up, together, this fall.
My take: You cannot mandate ambition, and you cannot mandate commitment. A defensive room is not a problem to fix in the moment, it is data. It tells you the number is mine, not theirs yet. The only way I have found to get a plan that is both realistic and offensive is to make the team build the number, not receive it. Slower. Less tidy. It is the only version they own.
The European read: Each of your leaders owns a different leg of scale: a different country, a different segment, a different maturity. A single top-down number flattens all of that. Bottoms-up, by market, is how you get a plan that is offensive where you have room and honest where you do not.
Do first: Take your next-year number. For each leader or market, write one line: is this their number, or mine. Be honest about which ones you are carrying alone.
Do this week: Ask each leader one question and stop talking: what would make next year’s target feel realistic and worth chasing to you.
Do this month: Run one bottoms-up planning pass. They bring the number and the plan to hit it. You edit for ambition, not for control.
The rule: If the room goes defensive on your number, it is your number. Ambition you did not build together is a target, not a commitment.
You know it worked when: A leader argues for a higher number than you would have set, because they built the path to it.
The play: 5 steps to build next quarter’s number bottoms-up (2026 series). Surfaces real team ambition instead of defending a top-down target. Get full access below ↓
Lesson 3: The two most honest conversations of my week were the goodbyes
I closed the week with 2 final one-on-ones, both with leaders leaving the org, before my own leave. I treat these the same way every time. Not a checkbox exit, not a form. A real conversation where I name the specific things they did and the specific impact they had, on me, on the other leaders, on the org, well beyond their results. You can tell yourself you are too busy for it. I think that is exactly backwards. Offboarding is one of the most underrated levers in building a culture, and it is part of the full employee journey, for an individual contributor and a leader alike.
My take: How you say goodbye is watched by everyone who stays. The person leaving becomes an advocate for life or a quiet detractor, and the 30 minutes you spend decides which. It is the cheapest culture and employer-brand work you will ever do, and almost nobody does it. I have had people I offboarded well send me candidates and customers years later. That is the return on a conversation most leaders skip.
The European read: In smaller European markets the talent pool is tight and everyone knows everyone. A great exit in one country is your employer brand in that country. Word travels faster in a market of a few thousand operators than in a market of a few hundred thousand.
Do first: Look at your next departure, IC or leader. Block 30 minutes for a real thank-you, not a handover. Write down 3 specific things they did that went beyond the results.
Do this week: Ask the honest question and take the answer without defending: what should we fix for the next person in your seat.
Do this month: Make the exit conversation a standing step in your offboarding, owned by the manager, for every leaver.
The rule: Nobody has time for a real exit conversation. That is exactly why it builds culture when you make time.
You know it worked when: People who left refer you talent and customers, and the people who stayed saw how you treated the people who left.
The play: 5 steps to turn every GTM exit into a culture asset (2026 series). Makes every departure a specific thank-you and a signal to the team that stays. Get full access below ↓
This week’s play to steal
My offsite ended with one promise: build next year’s plan bottoms-up, together, this fall. Most teams wait until Q4, then rush it in 3 weeks and wonder why the number never felt real. The plan you commit to in a room is only as good as how early you start building it. Here is the play I run to start next year’s plan early enough to actually hit it.
Play: 5 steps to build next year’s plan early enough to hit it, “5 steps to build next year’s plan early enough to hit it (2026 series)”
Fixes: The Q4 planning scramble that produces a top-down number nobody on the team owns.
Best for: 2-5M and 5-10M, any motion, and the European reality of leaders owning different countries and legs of scale, where one flat number hides which market is realistic and which is a stretch.
The 5 steps:
Start the plan a full quarter before you need it, while this year is still running.
Have each leader or market build their own number and the path to it, bottoms-up.
Edit for ambition, not control. Push where there is room, accept honesty where there is not.
Stress-test each market’s plan against its own capacity, not the company average.
Lock the number only once each owner can defend their piece without you in the room.
Template: A 1-page plan per market: next-year number, the 3 moves to hit it, the 1 risk that breaks it, owner. If the owner cannot fill this in without you, the plan is not theirs yet.
Paste this into your AI:
Here is my current-year performance by market and motion: [paste]. Help me build a bottoms-up next-year plan. For each market, propose a realistic-but-offensive number, the 3 moves to hit it, and the 1 risk that breaks it. Flag where I am likely carrying the ambition alone versus where the market owner would own it.
PS. Full play, template and workbook inside GTMcraft OS. Reply or DM me to get access.
When did your best leadership conversation this quarter actually happen: in the review, or after it?
Reply or send me a DM.
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Koen
Your (human) GTM Coach
